Thursday, August 20, 2015

random life events over the past month

 so, i won a bracelet & some swaggy goodness from Julie Johnson.
she's a great author!!  : )  

 random corvette because... it's a corvette, does there need to be another reason?


 five hour car ride to get there.
anticipated meeting one of my favorite authors.
met THREE.
God is good, ppl!  

 she can annoy the crap outta me, but she's still adorable & i love her.  : ) 

 this part was fun.  i think i'd like to get a canvas & some paints & just try an actual abstract w/ lots of color... 

the look on ppl's faces when i tell them the above picture was supposed to be a pelican...
i don't blame them.
his name is carl.
: ) 

last weekend, mom & i went to schaumburg for an author event.  it was a fun trip!  sadly, my camera was acting up, so i didn't get as many pictures as i'd've liked.  i managed to get a picture of our food from weber grill (love that place!) and mr bear in the hotel room & that was about it.  thankfully, after a reboot when i got home, it seems to be working again!  

this has been a hard week.  really, it's been a difficult month for me.  i have seasonal sadness disorder - is that a real thing?  anyway, what i mean when i say that is that i generally have more periods of sadness between daddy's birthday (august 28th) and his death day (halloween).  i require more care during this time, and i have to really remember to listen to what my body and mind and anxiety are telling me.  well, for some reason this year it started early, and i could feel everything slowing down & getting into that downward spiral in early august.  

there were times when i didn't give into it (the painting w/ jenni, becky & aunt nancy; schaumburg) and times when i did (putting off grocery shopping, rescheduling appointments).  that's really all i can do when this time hits - i used to get way more down and have more anxiety attacks during this time period, because i would try to force myself to do things because i thought i "had" to.  in realizing that i needed to listen to things more, and be open about how i'm feeling, it has helped A TON.  there are times when i really have to push myself to do things i HAVE to do (finally grocery shopping), and sometimes the recovery time from those takes longer.  but i was able to be in a room full of ppl & talk to some authors on saturday, and i didn't have a panic attack.  there was anxiety, but it didn't morph into full blown panic.  and after i'd been there about an hour or so, i recognized the fatigue from being around ppl and left.  i was a little disappointed to miss more of the panels & meeting more authors, but it was the right decision for me, so i accept it.

does anyone even care about these ramblings?  LOL  ah well, it doesn't matter because writing them out is therapeutic, and as i haven't written in a while, this is what you get!  

i hope everyone's having a great month - i'm ready for autumn!  : )  i'm taking 1/2 a day tomorrow & going to meet mom & leyton for lunch at culver's & then fun times at the museum.  i can't wait!!  : )  maybe i'll take some pictures.  :D  

take care!


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