today was a fairly normal day, but then there were really good parts.
- birthday bagels for a fellow novemberpalooza co-worker
- laughing hysterically w/ co-workers
- my friend becks delivered a french silk pie i'd ordered
- i shared the pie w/ co-workers & everyone enjoyed it lots
- got to chat w/ my friend mel a bit
- got to see mr c and get a laugh out of him : )
but then it was aslo really crappy (shitty - i want to say shitty) when i had a meeting w/ my supervisor at the end of the day, directly after having comforted a co-worker from having a shitty day due to their supervisor's rude & mean behavior. i wasn't expecting my meeting to be a bad one - i've been very blessed the past two or three years, that every meeting i've had has been very, very good.
but this meeting, this was the meeting where i was informed that - despite the fact that i'm known company-wide (at least in the US) as the SME (subject matter expert) on a certain system, despite having put together documentation and given presentations on the subject and been the go-to person for the past few years, despite building a reputation of trust, quality, knowledge and caring about not only the company but the employees - they want me to have a "specialist" for this process's issues who i would escalate things go.
i know my title isn't "specialist" but WTH dudes?!
anyway, there are several things wrong with this scenario, not the least of which being these points:
i've been assured on multiple occasions that THIS EXACT SCENARIO WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
i was asked what i liked best about my job, what made me want to get up in the morning & come in to work, even if i'm not feeling so hot one day or whatever, and i answered w/ my joy over what i get to do w/ this particular part of my job. that i get to interact with ppl & HELP them & work w/ so many different groups to make sure that everything was being administered correctly.
three months after THAT discussion, after saying the one thing i didn't want to give up if we ended up shifting work around, was this part...
and after EVERY meeting this year telling me what an amazing job i do, that ppl come to my manager w/ compliments on how i do my job, specifically regarding THIS...
and after literally telling me that THIS wasn't going to happen...
so, tell me how i can not take that a little bit personally, since the person who asked me that & seemed oh so interested in the answer is the same person who decided to mess w/ that part of my job?
so i feel a bit confused right now, and a bit all over the place.
i mean, i'll do whatever. but i'm not going to lie about how i feel about it.
i'll roll w/ the punches you want to deliver.
i'll do my best for the employees and even the company, as i always do.
but i don't know quite how i can give my best anymore, because apparently when i do they see that as an opportunity to fix what isn't broken just because the lines look better on some chart.
so, that's fine.
yeah, i'm a little ticked about how it went down, and i can't even go into all of it here.
my supervisor said she'd take my concerns back to the person who wants to implement this, but i don't see it changing their mind unless God performs a miracle (and He could).
i got the sense this is where things were going.
i had a gut feeling all those months ago, but i trusted the reassurance that THIS WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN.
AND THEN WE HAVE THE OTHER HAND
where i got to talk to mel & see mr c & where mom & i are going to Indy in a couple days & i get to meet ROCHELLE PAIGE & Michelle Lynn & some other awesome wordsmiths.
and where i hopefully get to have dinner w/ summer & visit.
and where i am finally home, in comfy clothes, and Sweet Dreams is just waiting for me.
so i'm gonna read, and i'm gonna try & kick out of this disappointment and disillusion.
and i may eat a snowman cookie later.