Thursday, May 15, 2014

addicted

so, i was listening to the actual words i was singing along with while singing along w/ the song Addicted by Saving Abel.  it's basically a love song to blow jobs.  nice.  and still... it's one of my favorite songs.  huh.

this morning i stopped at hardee's to use my coupon for biscuits & gravy before it expired.  the coffee at the bux.  so i was a little later than normal when i got to the bridge.  it was backed up because of either a one-car accident or stalled car - when i got up there, the car didn't look damaged & there wasn't an ambulance, but that could be because it'd already come & gone & they cops were just waiting for the tow truck.  not sure.  anyway, i hope everyone is okay!!  i spent 37 minutes crawling through traffic on the bridge, tho!  i didn't mind so much (other than thinking that my breakfast was getting cold & i didn't really want to microwave a biscuit!) because there was a cute guy in a hot (HAWT) car in front of me for most of the journey.  *grin*  also, i was singing along to Shinedown played very loudly.  :D  

i spent the majority of today working on timecard issues.  phone calls & IM's & emails galore about timecards!  and also a fun IM conversation w/ some dude at one of the other units who's always giving their hr rep a hard time & has now transferred that over to me.  *laugh*  he definitely made my afternoon enjoyable!  

i think i only have one more day on the dating site.  i've had some "likes" and a "favorite" and whatnot.  i've liked pictures & profiles & even sent a couple emails.  no follow thru from anyone, so idk what the point of their "liking" and "favoriting" was.  (one friend commented on my fb status about that - that they're probably too cheap to pay for "membership" so that's the only option available to them.  okay, well.  that just seems silly to me.  why even be there then?  i mean, what is the point?  

and all of that has me lamenting - WHERE ARE ALL THE ALPHA MALES?!  seriously!  april made a comment about "taking a risk" and "what if your perfect match is just as nervous/shy as you are?" and i'm all like - THAT IS NOT THE POINT!  it's not about "risk."  it's about the type of guy i'm longing for, when i let myself long for anything.  you know i crush on mr c, and i enjoy him a lot.  he's super cute, funny, polite, and fun to IM with on occasion.  but he's shy.  is he interested back & it's just that shyness preventing him from making a move?  that's where her "risk" comment comes in.  "ask him out/suggest coffee" whatever the suggestions are.  uh, no.  it's not because i'm unwilling to take a "risk."  no one understands the amount of courage it took for me to IM him that first time - and every time after, because i didn't want to bug him.  

the point is that i can be outgoing, social, friendly, flirty, what-have-you.  i can make "a" move, if you want to call it the "first" move in relation to guys.  but when it comes to - idk what you would call it anymore, going out?  a date?  hanging out casually in a social setting?  whatever, when it comes to that, my so-called "perfect match" if he even exists will be making those moves, and will be CLEAR about it, no room for misinterpretation.  and if i'm still clueless, which let's face it, i have been known to be.  more than once.  if i'm still clueless, he'll have no problem spelling it out for me.  

because that is what i want, and that EXISTS (i've seen it, i still see it) and i don't think i should settle for anything less than that.  because i'm tired of tying myself up in knots wondering "does he/doesn't he?" or "does he just want sex?"  i want intentions known, i want a guy who can take charge and communicate and takes me into consideration.  

ummmm.  i sorta went off into tangent / SQUIRREL land there.  sorry/not sorry!  *laugh*  

so, since that man hasn't appeared, and my month of the dating site experiment is about over, it's back to the drawing board.  *laugh*  being an anxiety-riddled social butterfly dichotomy is super fun when it comes to trying to meet new guys, lemme tell ya!  

anyway, those are my addicting thoughts for the evening.  : )  i'm going to read a bit more & then hit the hay & then be thankful tomorrow is friday and THEN be thankful that i have a 5 day weekend coming up!  

ttfn!

p.s.
OH!  after work i went to the bank to get cash out for the store because i wrote my last check at lunch, and the pen pretty much exploded all over my hand.  so the bank teller sent wet ones through the air tube for me, wasn't that sweet??  : )  my skin holds onto ink really well, tho, so while it faded, it didn't go away.  then she told me that hand sanitizer would work, so i tried that & it took off more but not all.  so, i'm still a little inked up, but not in the cool tattoo kinda way!  

then, i went to get groceries & my goal was to stay at $100 or so.  i mosey'd thru the store, sticking mostly to the outside, altho i did need cereal and TP and cat food, so aisles it was for those!  heh.  saw a former co-worker from my WM days & we chatted a bit (see, i'm memorable!  i worked at WM for like a total of 2 years in the late 90's for pete's sakes!  *laugh*).  she's a sweetheart!  : )  

oh, and my grand total for the groceries was a little over $98.  woot woot!!  

ttfn!

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