Wednesday, June 19, 2013

starbucks addict? moi?

yes, it is true.  my name is carrie & i'm a coffee addict, and right now i have the means to go to starbucks.  a lot.  so i do.  : )  i don't always get the same thing, altho i do have a rotation of sorts.  chai, iced coffee, green tea or coffee frapp, hazelnut macchiato... i always (or, almost always) get them non-fat.  i know some of my options are still higher carb/fat than if i were to drink diet pepsi (or, WATER), but choosing non-fat milk reduces my intake since i'm going to drink something anyway!  i prefer iced drinks over hot - even in winter. part of that is because iced drinks last longer.   : )  

so, today i stopped by after work & the gal was like, "man, you really are here a lot!"  LOL  cuz the last time i was at that store i said something about being addicted to the bux.  heh.  but... i went to panera for breakfast!  ; )  

today started out nice - oatmeal & coffee at panera - then was annoying.  i've mentioned my panic attacks before, and how one of my triggers is the parking situation at work & how i had to visit the company doctor to be exempted from some stuff.  part of my coping mechanism for that is to ignore any and everything to do w/ the whole parking situation.  i have my spot, i park there every day.  i don't pay attention to all the hubub & issues.  well, apparently my medical issue isn't enough to keep some ppl from making a stink about it.  *sigh*  so now i have to adjust some things... and hope that i can get into a new routine & not dread coming to work every day over the stupid PARKING.  a couple of things irritate me about this - first of all, there was apparently a misconception about the trigger for the panic attacks as having to do w/ if the shuttle driver is a man.  WTH?  idk how that misconception even got started, but for some reason it annoyed me.  it was the first i'd heard of it.  i made sure to clear it up - it has nothing to do w/ the shuttle driver or the driver's sex.  oye.  it has to do w/ a lot of things, there are a lot of "triggers" in this situation, and it irritates me that not only am i now being asked (directed) to change my routine in a way that makes me uncomfortable, but that when i expressed my displeasure with the discussion, i was made to feel like i was being silly.

i know, i know, i know she didn't mean to make me feel bad.  she is a genuinely nice person & a really terrific supervisor, and i don't hold any ill-will or anger at her personally.  i DO hold anger at the situation.  and also at the fact that i feel like i'm being punished for having a medical condition.  it doesn't matter that logically i know it's not a punishment, but rather a result of them not understanding the condition & bowing to perceptions of others.  y'all know - everyone knows as i'm pretty vocal! LOL - that i love logic,  but feelings aren't often logical, and when you add in panic issues, logic is so far out the window as to be in the next county!  

*sigh*  anyway.  i decided that - even tho i get several days off in a couple weeks - i need a mental health day, so i'm taking friday off!  so there!  

i also visited my happy place, the book rack, after work.  : )  well, and also starbucks.  and ALSO, hobby lobby!  while i was at the bookstore, i picked up 3 books, but there were others i thought i wanted to get.  but a couple of my authors have several books whose titles are similar enough that  i wasn't sure if i already had them.  so, i decided to make a logbook for my books that will fit in my purse & i can take w/ me everywhere!!  you've seen my log book where i record the books i've read (well, past readers have - if you're a new reader, welcome!  and i have a log book that my dad gave me many, many years ago, and i've kept track of every book i've read since 1992.  it's awesome!) - but i don't really want to cart it around w/ me everywhere i go!  so, at hobby lobby i found a perfectly sized sketchbook that looks like a journal.  : ) i think it will work perfectly!  

(btw, i'm sure there's some techy thing i could do w/ my phone to accomplish the same result, but i am a notebook/journal/pen & paper kinda gal.  i LOVE technology - i love being able to type out alll these thoughts & share them & whatnot.  but sometimes i just want to do things this way.  like reading book books instead of e-books.  :)  heh

i met michelle for dinner at exotic thai at 5 & we had lots of fun catching up!  and the food was yummy, of course!  but i didn't get home til 7ish & now it's twenty til 9 & i still haven't read anything because i was using goodreads (LOVE goodreads!) to make some of my lists & then playing on fb & now blogging... *laugh*  SO!  i'm going to log off & read for a couple hours before bed.  ttfn!!  : )  

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