Sunday, December 29, 2013

party central

yep, that's totally me.


i did have a fun Christmas w/ the family, tho.  went over to mom's for gifts (leyton's pile was the biggest, of course.  felt a little bad for anthony, but then again not because as a teen, his presents are CASH so they don't take up as much packaging!  LOL).  

that color was bothering me.  so was that one.  this one is better.  i could change the whole thing to this color, but then you would miss the whole evolution of color part... *laugh*  

anyway!  hung out at mom's for awhile & then we went to aunt sandy's church for the annual party w/ my dad's side of the fam.  uncle john & aunt debi were there, woot!  they live in KY, so it was nice to get to see & hug on them!  :)  my cousin georgine thought she left her phone at her mom's, so we took a little adventure trip to find it.  it wasn't there.  thankfully, when we returned to the church, it was sitting on the coat rack... so, a "futile" trip, but we got some bonding time in, so was it really futile?  i don't think so... :)  it was a really nice christmas.  :)  i'm just sad that i didn't take any pictures!  i just wasn't feeling like getting my phone out... 

most of my break has been spent READING.  shocker.  ; )   trish & i hung out today for brunch & shopping.  al joined us for brunch.  steeplegate has this really amazing brunch - all sorts of yummy options!  i stuck w/ breakfast foods - eggs, bacon, sausage & gravy, waffle... and a cream puff.  oh, and some hash.  that was yummy but salty.  everything else was perfection!  and the coffee ... YUM!  after we ate, trish & i went to BAM where i used my gc from phil.  so many books...!  i got a lora leigh & a couple jill shalvis & an amanda quick & a couple new authors.  woot!  then we went to the book rack & i found a couple laura adrians.  *happy dance*  and i have an order in to amazon for a few as well... *happier dance*  *laugh*  

ummm... what else?  i'm sure lots, but that's all i can think of.  it's now gotten COLD and supposed to snow all week.  so i did get groceries before i came home today.  needed coffee!  (and cat food...)  but i still want to go back to old navy & see if cute santa is still there - not in the santa suit, of course.  or maybe... *grin*  but i'm prepared to be semi-entrenched in the house ... 

back to work on thursday, so just 3 more days of break.  i'm so thankful for this time to recharge!!  praying that 2014 starts out BLESSED.

anyone got any plans for NYE?  more than just reading?  ; )  


Saturday, December 21, 2013

post 111 - a day of SMILES

today was a blessed and fantabulous day!  :)  

mom picked me up at 11 & we met phil & leyton at osaka for lunch.  lots of fun, and we had a very interesting conversation about how it doesn't bother me to eat or drink after ppl i don't know.  neither mom nor phil believes me, but *shrug*  it doesn't bother me.  i mean, if there was something gross left behind, THAT would bother me, but that would bother me whether i knew the person or not.  i've shared cigarettes w/ ppl i didn't know (okay, once, on the sidewalk in chicago outside a restaurant, and the waiter was cuuuute)... 

poor kid - he has a loose tooth & it was bothering him.
he was all happy one second & then got a twinge that really hurt him & : ( !

anywhoodle.  it was nice to have phil w/ us for lunch!  : )  on our way out, leyton asked for quarters to get some ninjas.  then i wanted a ninja!!  (the ninja did not get to come home w/ me because leyton wanted it, and well, why not? *grin*)  our ninjas were christmas colored - how appropriate!!  

then we decided we wanted more ninjas, so we gathered a few more quarters & leyton & i went back inside & got 7 more.  *laugh*  yes, we bought a total of 10 ninjas from that little machine!  

next, we headed to old navy so i could see if they had my shoes.  no dice.  but what they DID have was ... SANTA!  a very tall, very sweet santa w/ beautiful eyes, who i would very much like to get to know better - with or without the santa suit.  ; )  i sorta got the feeling i should know him, but i don't know anyone who works at old navy... but i would LIKE to...  *laugh* there were some t-shirts i was looking at that i might need to go back for on monday... (seriously, tho, can't life be a little bit like a romance novel & not just in the quirky meeting part, but some sort of follow thru?  *sigh*)  

okay, so!  leyton picked out a couple TMNT things for me to get for him there, so i did.  i'll hopefully get to take him to the JD store on tuesday to pick out his "big" gift.  after old navy, we went to monkey joe's.  well, mom & leyton did, and i took her car & went down to popcorn charlie's.  business was GOOD to them today - their shelves were BARE!  i did manage to get mom's mix & a small bag for me, but there weren't any of the flavors i wanted to get anthony, so i'll have to try back later.  also filled leyton's tin w/ caramel corn.  : )  then i went to walgreen's for a couple things & headed back to MJ's to pick up mom & leyton.  ohhh... i DID manage to squeeze in a visit to starbucks, as well.  ; )  that line was CRAZY today!  

we hung out at MJ's for a few more minutes & then headed to CFA for dinner.  also, the ninjas needed to have some sort of meeting... 

while at CFA, had a FB moment of - i know you, but i don't really know you - which was just funny.  kris has been at CFA forever, and we've been FB friends forever, and yet i'd never seen him at CFA til tonight.  (which is sorta ironic, because he'll be leaving there soon & starting at a different company more in his field soon.)  and i recognized him, but i didn't suddenly say, "kris!  hi!" because i'm apparently a dork.  and also idk if we've ever actually met... which is kinda funny, don'tchya think?  i know him, but don't know him.  or - rather - idk if he knows me.  or knows who i am?  like, in a general FB sense yes.  but in a real world sense?  idk.  if i had said, "kris!  hi!" would he have known who i am bc of FB photos?  (or, more likely, from recognizing leyton from FB posts, since i post pictures of him all the time!  LOL)  i sometimes forget that ppl might actually know who i am.  i just assume they don't.  

anywhoo.  *laugh*  does any of that make sense at all?  

i may be slightly nuts.  

so, after dinner, they dropped me off home & i got my mail & my books weren't there & i was sad.  :(  

and THEN when i got up to my door - my books had arrived!!!  

*happy dance*

so, to recap, today was beautifully blessed because i got to spend time w/ mom, leyton, and phil.  i ate yummy food.  i met an adorable Santa who made me smile.  i have books.

and, also, ninjas.  : ) 

i hope your saturday was just as blessed!!

(and also, seriously, if anyone knows who Santa is & he's single & in any way remembers fondly the slightly nutty gal who was looking for her peeps, give him my number!)  


Tuesday, December 17, 2013


today was a rough day.  it should have been a fun day, but i was feeling pretty grumpy for most of it.  nothing triggered it, really, and - just for anyone who might think it, no, it is not the right time of the month for irrational grumpiness.  if it were, the grumpiness wouldn't really be irrational, as there would be a cause for it!  *laugh*  

even seeing mr c wasn't enough to kick me out of the grumpies.

we had a cookie exchange today & i helped set up & distribute cookies & if i hadn't been feeling grumpy, it would have been really fun!  i spent part of my time trying to find missing christmas trees, tho.  we think someone may have absconded w/ them last year... :(  

my afternoon was decidedly better, tho, and a few things finally got me mostly out of the doldrums.  lunch w/ a friend at happy joe's & they had my favorite (sausage) pizza & my former wall-mate is always very good company!!  : )  then, i got to e-chat w/ april for a bit, which made me feel tons better.  AND i got to chat w/ someone about timecards & he ALWAYS makes me smile.  he's a riot!  he'd sent me an email asking me to call him when i got a chance, and apparently i called right after i got the note because his first words were, "wow, you're fast!"  and i made a comment about being faster than jimmie john's & then he made a comment which i found hilarious but he suddenly was like, "ooh, you're HR, that could have been inappropriate."  i assured him i found it hilarious & not offensive (perhaps a bit risque, but even that wasn't intentional!).  then he proceeded to make me laugh for the next 10 minutes while we went over timecard stuff.  laughter really IS the best medicine.  

and right before i left, another friend IM'd me to see if i'd go check out what was left of the cookie table, so we did that & that was fun!  : )  

then, i got to come home & snuggle up w/ my book (Sweet Home by Tillie Cole - i wasn't sure if i liked it in the beginning.  the writing style takes some getting used to.  but now i'm a bit over 1/2 way & really love it!!  : )  

so, hopefully the good mood carries over into tomorrow... 

for now, a couple more chapters & then i must SLEEP!


OH!  on the way in to work this morning, i stopped at starbucks & got a sample blueberry donut - did you even know they had those?  it was yummy!  also, there were some packages on the road - i hope no one ran into them!  :(  and that they didn't get destroyed & make their way back home... eep!  

Sunday, December 15, 2013

december 14th - a good day

saturday was a really good day!
the volunteering opportunity was lots of fun!  i was a the check in desk for volunteers, and i think i'm going to request that particular job for any other times i'm able to volunteer for a FIRST event.  i really love that part!!  there was also a very cute & funny guy ... *grin*  

i got quite a bit of christmas shopping done afterward.  bath & body works, the JD store, and then i decided to go to the book rack while i waited to meet mom for lunch.  i hadn't been to the book rack in a couple months, which is just crazy!  but i've been buying books from amazon & prior to my "break" i had been in there a couple times a week for a few months & wanted to give the books time to regen.  (that will make sense to you if you're a bookstore addict like me!)  i'm so glad i chose yesterday to go in!  i had a feeling i should go... 
so, there was an author there doing a signing, E.D. Martin.  i picked up a signed copy of her book, The Lone Wolf, and it looks good.  : )  i love supporting indie authors, local authors, big-name authors who have the personality of indie authors... you know, they sell thousands upon thousands of books, and are loved in many countries, but they're humble & nice & regular-ppl-like?  anyway, she was super nice & passionate about her book, and also had a really cool watch.  heh.  "it's just a cheap plastic watch," she said, but i liked it anyway!  : )  

oh, also, as a side note, when i walked in - even after not being there for a couple months - i was greeted w/ "hi carrie!"  and that made me feel warm & fuzzy & happy inside.  

AND i found a couple books by favored authors that i didn't have yet.  
also, i learned my lesson about picking up books from other favorite authors w/o the book that has my lists - i ended up buying one of JQ's that i already have... d'oh!  

i met mom for lunch at the new osaka, and it was DELISH!!  huge buffet line!  i was smart & got a plate of regular food & a plate of sushi, so that way i didn't have to go back up!  *laugh*  it was nice to have an opportunity to chat w/ mom, too.  she's still super stressed, but she was in a good mood & she & aunt jan & aunt janie (& aunt carol?  i assume all of them...) have set up a time to discuss some stuff, so that will be good.

i came home to a BIG BOX OF BOOKS!  i would insert a picture of them here, but for some reason my wonderful option of adding pictures from my phone is having issues... *pouty face*  ah well, anyway, i read Connected By the Sea for a bit & then headed over to phil's to hang out w/ leyton for a bit.  that way phil could get a few hours of sleep before work & mom could go to saturday service.  : )  leyton & i were mostly doing our own thing - i was reading & he was playing Guns & then football on his dad's phone.  heh.  i made him turn Guns down - those machine guns are loud!!  before i left, we did manage to play together a bit - he wanted to show me his fighting skills - that kid can PUNCH!  i wish i had the money (or any of us did) to get him into MA.  i know he'd love it!  but, he's in baseball & basketball & enjoys those, so i suppose he can't be in everything!  *laugh*  

when mom got home, i headed to CFA to meet jessica for dinner.  we had a great visit as always!  she is one of those ppl that i'm comfortable w/.  we don't get to see each other often, but when we do it's chat-chat-chat & there's no feeling of "haven't seen you in awhile what do we talk about?"  ya know?  that right there, kids, is a sign of a good friend!

however, by the end of the day i was EXHAUSTED (pleasantly so) & i ended up falling asleep w/ only like 10 pages of my book left!  it was a good day.  i needed a good day!!  : )  

today has been very relaxing & restful.  finished CBtS & read A Beautiful Wedding (such a perfect novella for fans of Beautiful Disaster & Walking Disaster!!) & now i'm going to read a bit of Text before heading over to trish's to hang out & watch our shows.  woot!  

i hope your weekend has been a good one, and that you have a beautiful monday!!  : )  



Wednesday, December 11, 2013

something real

so, the past few weeks have been kinda difficult.  as a whole, Carriepalooza was one of the best.  there were days when i had to force a little extra cheer - my actual birthday lunch was one of those days.  prior to that day, i was quite happy & really enjoying my celebrations & the blessings (well, i always enjoy blessings - both giving and receiving them).  but that day... *sigh*  

it was super nice of everyone who came to come.  the fact that any ppl show up to these parties gives me a warm fuzzy.  : )  the cake was AMAZING, nicki always does a superb job & i'm pretty sure she'll be my official birthday cake maker until she gets sick of making them for me!  *laugh*  i was happy that phil (who, as a reminder, works 3rd shift & is usually sleeping during the time i had my lunch) joined us for eats.  he even stayed for a bit after he ate.  it was nice!  

i admit to being disappointed that a couple ppl who RSVP'd did not show up & did not call/text/fb message/send a carrier pigeon to let me know they weren't going to make it.  i admit to being disappointed that a couple of my aunts who normally come to my lunches were unable to do so this year because of scheduling conflicts.  

but the things that sort of tipped me into ... "sad" mode - and it's silly - because i, most of the time i don't think like this, and it shouldn't even bother me, but it just does.  for the past few years, on my birthday or soon before/after, my mom will mention something about my being "almost 40!"  and she says it in this shocked, amazed voice.  and i just wanted to be 32 or 35 or 37... because for some reason when i think about the fact that i'm "almost 40" it makes me sad.  i don't feel almost 40.  i don't even really feel like i'm in my 30's.  maybe no one ever really does, or maybe some ppl always feel like they're some other age, older or younger than they are?  or maybe it's because when i think 40, and i think about the lives of my contemporaries age-wise, friend-wise, i think about the fact that they've been married or w/ their SO for 10 or more years.  the fact that - altho i don't want children myself - they're raising a new generation of little PEOPLE.  anthony's in HIGH SCHOOL.  some days i feel like i just turned 18 & will graduate soon & oh the possibilities of college!  sarah & stephen are 10.  they are a decade.  a decade ago, things were so different.  some bad, some good, but i thought that surely by the time i was 30, i would have fallen in love - the kind where the dude loves you back, ya know?  not like my normal boy-crazy self, or "i love everyone" kind of love (because i do).  

maybe having so much love for everyone means i don't get to have just one to myself?  maybe the fact that i open myself, my heart, my emotions up too easily to anyone & everyone is the reason i can't?  

i don't know.  i do know that mom doesn't say the almost 40 thing because she's calling me an old maid or a spinster (look at me, throwing around book words.  LOL  this surprises no one, moving on).  i'm sure she thinks about it in some form or another - occasionally she will randomly bring up my other favorite topic, dating, marriage, whathaveyou - but the reason she brings up my age in that amazed voice is because it's a reflection on her own.  i know this, and for that reason i fight any hurt feelings i feel directly when she says it.  because of our history, there are just things that automatically hurt me more when she says or does them, but because of certain healings the Lord has kindly done for me, i'm able to acknowledge the hurt and realize it's not on purpose, or not out of meanness.  but those scars are still there.  and it's still a struggle.  i win, but anyone who has fought a war of any kind will tell you that winning can hurt, too.  

the other thing that day that put me into this sad mode that i can't seem to shake, and that is making me feel decidedly grinchy this christmas, was a conversation i had w/ erin.  we were going to see a movie - well, the usual plan for birthday party day is lunch & a movie, but everyone had plans already & no one was going to the movie, and erin said she'd go so then mom said she didn't really want to go, but then erin didn't really want to go, either, and i didn't feel like sitting through a movie that she wasn't going to enjoy.  or, rather, making her sit through it - she works 3rd shift, too, and i know she was super tired that day!!  but, so, anyway, on the way taking her home, we were talking about breakups & boyfriends & things, and i made some comment, to which she replied something about "just sex" and i flippantly said, "maybe that's just what i'm looking for at this point.  no strings, just sex."  and then she got all moral high ground - no, that's not the right phrase.  it wasn't judgey like that, it was more like, "my life experience has taught me -this- or -that-" or whatever, and it just sort of pissed me off.  like, really, truly pissed me off.  i don't get pissed a lot.  mildly irritated, highly irritated, sure.  but PISSED?  i don't even use that word 1/2 the time.  i'm using it here to make a point.  *laugh*  (i can laugh about it now, sort of...and on the other hand it still sorta ... well, you know!)  

i wasn't mad at her - well, i was a little, but the majority was just in general, upset at circumstances kind of thing.

the discussion that followed was about how when  you bring sex into a relationship, there's always emotional involvement, that you can't HAVE sex w/o getting your heart involved.  well, i know that's true for ME, but i don't think it's true in general.  MY heart gets involved at the drop of a hat.  my heart has been hurt more times than i can count, and sex very rarely played a part in that.  my heart has nicks on it from all sorts of ppl, and still it leaps in & lets ppl in & it's not even a thought.  but that's me.  other ppl, i would think, have to be able to do the "just sex/no strings attached" thing, don't they?  otherwise, ppl would never have more than 2 lovers in their lives.  and i know a lot of ppl who have had A LOT more than 2 lovers in their lives.  

i know the ideal.  i know the ideal is one partner for life.  marry, have sex, have kids, etc, etc.  

statistically, i wonder how often that actually happens.  even if you're a virgin when you get married - even if BOTH partners are virgins when they get married, w/ the divorce rate being what it is, and the re-marriage rate being what it is... how many ppl can say that they have been with ONE person?  even in the Bible, do we have any Scriptural evidence that gives us statistics on how many biblical marriages consisted of two virgins?  and then we have the old testament which is peppered w/ multiple wives & concubines... and these are belonging to the men who loved God, who had hearts after God!  

i'm not saying that was the point of their stories.  i'm saying, i guess, that it seems like a lot of the modern christian thoughts on sex and marriage don't hold up to reality.  and that's sort of what pissed me off about the whole discussion w/ erin on that day.  it was the fact that every day ppl get to be in love, and loved by someone who loves JUST THEM and wants to make them happy - and even if it doesn't last forever, they get to experience that.  for the past however many years, i don't.  i don't get the cuddles and the presents and the sex and the things that go along with all of that.  i don't get the partner in crime, or the text that says "i love you" (well, okay, i get texts that say i love you, but from family!  different kind of love - no less cherished, just different.) or the arguing over stupid crap like whose turn is it to unload the dishwasher.  


are you enjoying my little word vomit novella?  i'm sort of petering out, even tho this is really only the tip of the iceberg of what's been going through my head for the past few weeks.  

are you ready for the dichotomy portion of how my brain works?

despite how my thoughts above may sound, and my absolute obsession w/ romance novels and hot, muscled (tatted and pierced are bonuses) guys... i'm not even sure i want to be in a relationship right now.  i definitely don't want to be in just any relationship - and i sort of feel like that's what ppl want to push me into when i say anything about it.  like, if i want to hang out & play cards w/ a friend who is a guy - suddenly, because i've mentioned that yes, i would like to get married some day, any single guy i hang out w/ ppl are asking intense personal questions.  and then i feel defensive, even if i'm not trying to be.  or, knowing of mr crushtastic (who i WOULD very much like to give a relationship a try with) they say things like, "just ask him out" or something equally as ... modern.  *laugh*  that's not the right word, either, but you know what i mean.

and i'm not writing this so that my dear friends and random strangers will read it & say, "chin up, carrie!  your prince charming is out there!  have  you tried online dating?  have you tried (insert dating advice here)?"

i don't need encouragement - i need to get laid.  (ha, joking.  sort of!)

i fully trust in the Lord, and in the fact that - if there is a boyfriend/husband out there in His plan for me - the man who is perfect for me will arrive at the time that is perfect for both of us.  i also trust that there might not be a man in His plan for me anymore.  the fact of the matter is that not everyone gets married.  not everyone gets to have that happily ever after even IF they get married, but at least they got a shot.  not everyone gets that shot.  i have accepted the fact that i may be one of those ppl.  i don't LIKE it, but i've ACCEPTED the possibility.  i don't think i have any choice but to accept it.

and THAT, dear readers, is only what started my feelings of "meh"ness this holiday season.

grammy's not really doing well at all.  my family is fighting - not necessarily out in the open, but they are not getting along just the same, because they each have different ideas about what is RIGHT for grammy, and instead of letting this pull them together they are drifting further apart.  i don't know all the details of what's going on - i hear bits & pieces from each of them & have formed somewhat of an idea of the whole picture.  but it's stressing them all the fuck out.  which in turn stresses me out, because of that whole heart gets involved in everything, thing.  

i haven't been able to see a lot of leyton lately, and even less of anthony.  and neither one of them has been very helpful in the picture department this year, which means that i don't have a lot of pictures to use for the calendars that i usually make for mom, phil, jen... and i'm just not feeling it this year.  i started making the calendar for mom for christmas because i had SO MANY pictures to share w/ her.  but now she expects a calendar, and i just don't know that i have enough good pictures, and i just don't really have the motivation to even create the calendar this year.  but i know if i don't, she'll be disappointed.  and i don't want to disappoint her.

i decided to buck a 7 year tradition at work, as well, and not do christmas cups this year.  i thought i might get some bags of candy & still do that, just not do cups, but ... honestly, i don't even want to do that.  i want to do something nice, but i don't.  i just feel MEH about the whole thing!  

i have plans this weekend to volunteer for the FIRST Lego League even at the museum, and i was really excited about it & loved doing it a couple years ago - the kids are so talented, and the things they come up with!!  and even tho i am more an arts person, what w/ the love of books & all, i like supporting STEM events.  however - right now i'm feeling MEH about that, too.  i have plans w/ a friend later that day.  meh.  i have plans w/ a friend the first day of christmas break.  MEH.  i don't want to go, at all, but i don't want to hurt their feelings, and i can't decide if i REALLY don't want to go or if it's just another part of the MEH feeling about a lot of things, ya know?  

there ARE still things that take away the meh feeling - my books, hanging out w/ trish & casie & a few other friends who i'm not nervous around at all.  nervous isn't the right word.  i was going to say "who i'm comfortable with" but the other ppl don't make me UNcomfortable.  not really.  idk.  


anyway.  i feel better having written all this out, and if anyone made it this far to actually READ IT, THANK  YOU for taking time to do so.  sorry if it took like an hour to get through my meh-y-ness.  

i'm going to drink some coffee, brave the cold to have a smoke, and then dive back into Point of Retreat.  


Monday, December 2, 2013

back to reality

it's so nice to have a loooong weekend!  i had so much fun hanging out w/ mom & phil & leyton, & trish, and READING!!  : )   but, today, it was back to work work work.  *laugh*  i am soooo grateful that i love my job!  today was quite insane, but even when i was frustrated, it was nice to share it w/ co-workers, get it out of my system, and figure out a polite way to respond to some of the massive email.  LOL  

i'm reading Rule by Jay Crownover right now & i'm LOVING it!  if the rest of the story is as good as the first 1/2, then i will certainly be getting the other books in the Marked Men series (Marked as in TATTOOS!  woot!  *laugh*  i may be a little wound up right now... LOL).  : )  i didn't want to go to bed last night from reading it.  i didn't want to leave my car after my book break.  and i ALMOST didn't get groceries after work cuz i just wanted to come home to READ!  *grin*  but, my desire for salad & milk overrode that for a bit, and i did go to the Target after work.  rah!  

when i got home, i decided to check my mail - since Remy came early, i figured the books that were supposed to arrive tomorrow might arrive today.  AND THEY DID!!!  *bounceclap*  *happy sigh*  

so!  now the groceries are put away, i ate some cheese on the way home so i'm no longer starving, and i think i'll read for a bit before deciding if i'm having sushi or salad for dinner.  :)  

how's everyone doing this monday???  


Thursday, November 28, 2013


- birthday party: nicki for making my awesome Styxx cake; everyone for joining the fun, aunt judy for my giftcard to BAM...

(there were supposed to be pictures of the party & of the books i bought w/ the gc, but for some reason the pics haven't synced up so i can't post them at the moment.  boo!)

- phil: for putting together my bookshelf, coming to my birthday party, and not making me stand in line for 2 hours at golden corral for thanksgiving lunch.

- mom: for all the wonderful carriepalooza stuff she's done for me this month!

- aunt vickie for bringing me PIE tonight!  :) 

i've been reading a lot of really good books lately, and the one i'm reading now - Forgiving Lies by Molly McAdams - is also very good.  but i already know that it ends in a cliffhanger, and from what i can tell right now, there really isn't a need for it to do that, and so i might be angry with it by the time i finish.  *sigh*  but i'll still have to read the 2nd book because i already love these characters & know i'll have to find out what happens.  but the whole cliffhanger thing is a trend that i really wish would STOP.  meh.

tomorrow mom & phil & leyton & i are hopefully going to golden corral for lunch, since it sorta didn't work out today!  

i hope everyone had a great thanksgiving & that you, too, were able to enjoy some PIE!  : )  


Saturday, November 16, 2013

mine! mine! mine!

today was fantastically fun!  
carriepalooza day 16 gets two thumbs up!

last night for some reason i was falling asleep by like 8 o'clock.  it could have been the extra 1/2 hour early i got up to take bret to work... i couldn't adjust my schedule yesterday because i'd planned to go to lunch w/ a couple friends & then take the afternoon off, and if i came in at 7 instead of 6:30, that would mean we either couldn't leave for lunch until noon (which would screw up THEIR schedules, and i didn't want that) or i'd have to take another hour of vacation, and i'm already down to like 12 hours left til may... LOL  but having a 4 1/2 day weekend off for my birthday is totally worth it!  : )  
lunch was full of fun & laughter & delicious enchiladas & chips & salsa.  *laugh*  
oh, and also yesterday my team gave me a birthday card where several ppl wished me a happy Carriepalooza, AND my friend marty gave me a gc to WM. 
: ) 

after lunch, i got some groceries & picked up a couple books (Julia Quinn's The Sum of All Kisses - yay!! - and Cora Carmack's Finding it - which, as it turned out, was a signed first edition!  i had no idea until i started reading it, because the target sticker was over the golden sticker that let me know it was a signed first edition... LOL  so, that makes TWO signed books that are unexpectedly in my collection.
LOVE IT!  (and i read Finding It today & i LOVED that, too!)

anyway, so last night i was in bed before 10, and i wasn't even sick!  
that meant that i was up pretty early today, altho i did manage to get about 9 hours of sleep, so that was pretty cool.  : ) 

i finished Naked Dragon & started Finding It & then wondered & wished at 11:11 that i'd figure out lunch & not TWO SECONDS LATER mom called to see if i wanted to go shopping & to lunch w/ her.  LOL  awesome!  so, she picked me up around noon & we went to texas roadhouse for fried pickles & steak.  YUM!  adam, our waiter, was very helpful & managed to find me a romaine-only salad, which i was very grateful for!  : )  
then we went to Bed Bath & Beyond so mom could buy herself a keurig, because i love the one she got me last year for christmas so much that she needed one.  *grin*  i don't go into that store a lot, because it has all of the things i want to buy & don't need (more dishes!  pillows!  blankets!!!!!  fun kitchen gadgets!) & it is SUPER TEMPTING to me!  i'm lucky i got out of there spending only $15... heh!  
we stopped at starbucks & mom was quite shocked that i'd already used up her carriepalooza gift of adding to my card a couple weeks ago.  she thought for sure it would last the month at least.  
she obviously did not fully understand my obsession w/ the bux and all things coffee before today.
her reaction made me think perhaps i should be embarrassed by the amount of coffee i drink, but that was as far as it got - i thought about being embarrassed, but i'm not embarrassed... make sense?  

after the bux, we went to cost cutters so mom could get a new 'do & i read while waiting.  
win win!  

phil & leyton came over later to pick up the coffee basket thing i'd forgotten to give mom when she dropped me off.  so, i got to give hugs & kisses to my munchkin today, too, unexpectedly!  that was super nice!!

five of my ordered books came to make my mailbox happy:

now the dilemma of what to read next - i've been anticipating almost all of these for what feels like forever (but has probably only been a couple months or weeks?  LOL)!  
i think the most likely scenario when i venture into my library to pick is going to be Mine by Katy Evans, because Remy has been calling the loudest lately.  *laugh*  

what're y'all up to this weekend??

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Losing Hope by Colleen Hoover (and other carriepalooza things)

okay, so, first of all - Losing Hope.  this book!!!  ripped my heart out.  seeyabyegone!  it's book 2.  i'm reading this one all out of order, but they're all stand alones, just have an order.  *laugh*  Finding Cinderella was book 3, a novella.  i flippin LOVED the story of daniel & six so much.  tugged at my heart, made me laugh & shed some tears, but not the sobbing ugly cry.  oh now, that was reserved for this one.  EMOTIONAL!  but brilliantly done, and i'm sure i'll read Hopeless (i don't have it yet) even tho it's the same journey.  i prefer when the same journey is in the same book (like The Edge of Never) but i do love getting both sides of the story even if i have to wait for a 2nd book.  : )  

after all that emotional heaviness, i needed something light, so i did a re-read of Traci on the Spot by Marie Ferrarella, which is a book i've had for about ... *gasp* ... 16 years... wow!  anyway, it's a light, quick read, and now i may be ready to tackle another emotional read.  *laugh*  except i kinda want to do another re-read, but i won't say which until i decide if that's the route i'm going!  : )  

amazon has been sending me emails & my recent book orders have been shipping piecemeal, so i should get a few of them on saturday & then a few next week, and then a few more the following week... heh.  and then i've sort of lost track of some of the ones i've pre-ordered.  i think a couple come out the end of november, maybe one the first week in december, and then a few in january & february.  i may also have pre-ordered one that comes out in march... that might be the fourth Anemoi by laura kaye...?  anywhoo, and you know i'll be ordering more... LOL  books, boys & coffee!  one group of books is a gift from cousin kathy.  i'll post pictures when i get the shipments.  cuz you know you love to see the covers as much as i do!  right?!  

the other day was pretty cool - we had a meeting & i got to see mr crushtastic.  : )  didn't get to talk to him, tho.  *sadface*  but all in all, carriepalooza has been a very blessed thing this month, and i'm quite thankful!!   one of my baking pals brought me pumpkin bars the other day, too.  i also ordered some zucchini bread from her.  yummy!!  

i've decided that i'm starting my actual birthday weekend early & am taking vacation after lunch w/ friends.  : )  then i don't go back to work til WEDNESDAY!  *bounce*  and the following week is THANKSGIVING, so huzzah to that as well!!  *happy dance*

what else?  birthday cards in the mail today.  one from my dear bug & her family contained ...

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!  and yes, i probably will wear them all just like that for as long as i can.  i like the look.  i may decide later to color coordinate, but i've worn bret's since he gave it to me & it hasn't bothered me to have it on all the time, so we'll see!  : )  

ummm... that might be all for now!  idk what book i'm reading next.  ttfn!

Saturday, November 9, 2013

carriepalooza day 9 - with pictures!

i'm very blessed to have the family & friends that i do.
i love them!

: ) 

i spent today burrowed with Love Unscripted - it's very long, but VERY good!!  

around 5 there was a knock on my door - it was the mail carrier, delivering a surprise package from my cousin kathy!!  : )  she is SUPER SWEET!
(photos of most of the gift)

love this quote!  

seriously, how flipping cute is all of that???  *bounceclap*
BIG THANK YOU to kathy!!!  : )  

after i opened that and gushed at kathy on FB, i headed over to mom's to hang out for a bit.
we played yahtzee & hungry hungry hippo, and then leyton & i played some catch.  

he also told me he loves me about 20 times.  
i can never get enough of hearing THAT!  

a beautifully brilliant day 9, i tell ya!  

oh, and before i go to bed - because i'm falling asleep so it seems like a good idea! - i had to take a picture of leyton's school picture.... : ) 

one of my favorite shirts, AND HOW CUTE ARE HIS GLASSES?!?!
<3 <3 <3 


Sunday, November 3, 2013


yesterday, mom & leyton picked me up & we met phil at the theatre & saw Free Birds.
it was hilarious!!  
two thumbs up.  we all laughed quite a lot (including phil)!  
there were a couple bits i thought it could have done w/o, and a couple bits that seemed to be taken from the lion king (i'm HOPING that was on purpose...), but ... GEORGE TEKAI was steve!  win!  : ) 

after the movie, phil went back home to sleep, while mom, leyton & i enjoyed lunch at the red robin.
YUM! ; ) 

then we ran some errands - video store, and went to sam's, where mom ran in to get a few things & leyton & i stayed in the car to play.  we stopped at starbucks & mom put some $$ on my card as part of Carriepalooza.  : )  woot!  
they dropped me off at home around 3 & i spent a couple hours reading (Highland Wolf by Hannah Howell - finished it today & it was quite good!).
i went over to mom's around 6 to play some games.
i didn't win any, but it was good times!!  : ) 

sign for the number 6? (thanks, katie!  ;))

last night was daylight savings, FALL BACK, my favorite!  
i was pretty exhausted, tho, and went to bed early.  
since i changed the clocks before i went to bed, it appeared that i went to sleep around NINE!  
yeah, crazy!  

today i was all set to run to the bux & then snuggle in w/ my book.
however, when i tried to leave... 
this is not supposed to happen during Carriepalooza!  
trish & al came over to generously fix it w/ a tire seal "fix a flat" kinda thing.
unfortunately, the nozzel on the canister was broken, and it wasn't able to get into the tire to fix anything!  boo!  but it was super sweet of them to try!!  : )  
so, i talked it over w/ mom, and was going to text phil but he was sleeping (3rd shift, you know) & i didn't want to bug him, since he'd missed out on sleep yesterday to meet us for the movie!  instead, i decided (with mom's help) to take this opportunity to just get 4 new shoes put on chloe.  called firestone & they sent a tow truck out.  very handsome tow truck operator!  : )  he took chloe & mom & leyton picked me up for lunch at steak & shake.  S&S is pretty good, but not as delicious as the red robin!!!  
still, had fun playing army guys w/ leyton while we waited for our food.  : )  

we took leyton to jen's & then mom dropped me off at firestone & i settled in w/ my book, Werewolf in the North Woods by VLT.  pretty good story, which i finished just a bit ago.  it annoyed me, too, tho, which is a bummer.  i don't like being annoyed!  *laugh*  my wait for chloe was about 2 hours.  this would have been GREAT, if the chairs had been even a little comfortable.  *sigh*  as it was, i felt every minute of that wait!  UGH!  i wasn't even reading as fast as normal cuz i couldn't concentrate because of the stupid chair!!

once chloe was ready, i paid the nice man at the front desk & booked it over to the bux!!  and TJ's for dinner because i was soooo hungry!  *luagh*  hung out at home for a bit, watched an episode of Castle, read, and then went to trish's around 6 for OUAT & Revenge.  SO GOOD!!  : )  

and now i must get to bed!  this weekend was not as relaxing as i'd hoped, but it was fun & got to see lots of leyton, and that is always a blessing!!  

i hope your weekend was FANTABULOUS and that all of our mondays will go well!!!  : )  


Friday, November 1, 2013


- honey crisp apples
oh my flippin heck, you guys!!  these apples are the bomb!  why are there even any other apples, ever?  
i just want to suck out the marrow of deliciousness.



so, wednesday i apparently had some sort of stomach bug?  it was unpleasant.
i made it til about 10 at work & then i came home & went to bed.
took a 2 hour nap, then got up & tried to read.
i was reading this really awesome, amazing book by kemmie michaels, Unlikely Hero.  it was marvelously sweet!  
i hadn't eaten much of anything since the breakfast yogurt at 6:30/7, and i was hungry but hadn't been to the store as that had been the plan for after work.  so i called in an order of pad thai, because that seemed like my best (mild) option that would deliver!  
it arrived around 7 & i ate maybe 5 or 6 bites before fridging it.  
then i snuggled back into my book, but i couldn't keep my eyes open!  
i had 10 pages left (TEN PAGES!!) & i was falling asleep on the couch, so i closed the book & went to bed, and slept for 12 hours.
it was 7:42pm.

very grateful i already had thursday off.
i was feeling much better, but my tummy was still sore, so i stayed in.  well, mostly - i did go to panera for breakfast since i still didn't have any food & i only had one coffee left & knew i would need that before leaving friday.  : )  

i finished Unlikely Hero (*swoon* sooooo sweet!  marcus & erin's relationship starts out as shared journal entries.  LOVE IT!) & posted pictures of daddy on FB & had my usual halloween remembrance of him wallow/celebration (because that's what you do or at least that's what i do) & decided to read a vampire book because it was halloween, so i read laura adrian's Kiss of Midnight, which was a really good story, but lucan & gabrielle weren't really in the same space a lot, so it made it hard for me to get into their whole love story thing.  
and then i started More Than This by jay mclean & WOW!  
i'm almost done, will finish tonight, and it's AMAZEBALLS!  totally recommend it!  it's had me LOLing, snortling, sniffling, hugging myself, awwwwing... it's all kindsa good story telling, even if there is a LOT of the f word and also - these kids are a liiiiittle too familiar w/ alcohol & sex.  goodness!  


today it was back to work & of course my email box had blown up while i was out & i spent an hour working on that before my FOUR HOUR MEETING at 7:30.
but guess who i got to sit next to for the whole thing?
come on, guess?!  : )  
i even got to walk out w/ him & chat at the break time & at the end of the meeting.
*happy dance*
i know it's hard for ppl to understand, since i do crush on him pretty hard, but it really does make me happy just to have that little contact, or to chat w/ him on IM every once in awhile.
i know it's not going anywhere, i've accepted that and enjoy being in his friendly presence when i can.

i also got a side hug from our director.  
: )  
goooood morning!!

then, it was time for our team lunch at a little cafe that does wraps & stuff, AND they serve a side of cream cheese & ham wrapped pickle w/ the meal.  YUMMY!  
it was a very nice lunch, and because today is day one of carriepalooza, i ordered a mini carrot cake cupcake to go.
it was delicious.
i ate it at like 2 o'clock.  heh.

i spent the last two hours catching up w/ more emails & timecard stuff & vacation stuff.
it was also a goooood afternoon!

after work, i finally went to the WM for some groceries, and thankfully i mostly remembered that i only had whatever cash i had on me cuz i'm outta checks.  i had $70 & my bill came to $68 something.  

now, back to my book!
tomorrow i'm going to see Free Birds w/ mom & leyton.

what's up for you this weekend?  : )  


Sunday, October 27, 2013


this is my 100th post at this blog.  
i feel like it should be a celebratory post or something special, but i don't really have anything particularly celebratory or special to say, so ... here ya go!  

Fight With Me and More Than This arrived thursday.
Play With Me, Worth The Fight, Defying the Odds, Unlikely Hero, and Restore My Heart were delivered late friday.
: ) 
i liked FWM even more than Come Away With Me, but then i read Play With Me, and i think it's my favorite of that series so far.  it was, as the title might suggest, playful.  they're all super alpha and yet super sweet, but i think that one seemed to have more ... depth or something.  idk.  before i bought it, there was one reviewer who took exception to a certain scene (will sets up a security system in meg's house after they've only just met), but it was one of MY favorites (because he explains his reasoning - he's not being a controlling a-hole, he just sees their relationship as a lasting thing, and worries that as it progresses, his crazy stalker fans could try to hurt her).  so, perspective?  *laugh*  

yesterday i got to hang out w/ mom for a bit.  we went to breakfast at IHOP & talked about things that have been going on w/ grammy & the aunts.  it's looking like a nursing home is going to be the best place for grammy pretty soon.  she really does need 24 hour care, and it's putting a strain on mom & the aunts.  and if they're strained, i'm sure it's not the best for grammy!  ya know?  as much as they all want her to be able to stay home, from everything i've heard/seen... i just don't think that's what's best for anyone anymore.  
she will be 99 (almost 100!) on november 8th.  
she always said she wanted to make it to 100, but idk that she would want to hang out another year as she is now, when she could be footloose & fancy free w/ the Lord... 

i'm hoping to get over to see her next week.  i want to look through pictures with her.  :)  

after breakfast, we went to sam's - i do love sam's!  mom kindly bought me a cheese tray.  i forgot to get sausage, tho - i've been on a breakfast for dinner kick lately, and am loving a waffle, sausage over-easy egg combo.  mmmm.  (i had a maple sausage, egg & cheese biscuit for breakfast, but that was HOURS ago!  *laugh*)  it was just nice to hang out w/ her for a bit after not seeing her for like a week or more!!

tonight i get to hang out w/ trish for our sunday tv viewing.  yay!!  

until then, i will be reading Worth The Fight.  i hope it's as good as it looks - it's one that i've been really looking forward to for weeks!!  
(it's so hard to believe that i've only been into the NA/rock star/fighter books since june.  i've read so many in that timeframe, it's like i'm devouring them!  *laugh*  and my wishlist is still 7 pages long & growing!)

what fun have you been up to this weekend?


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

a time to be random

there have been so many things i've wanted to write about lately, but they flutter about in my mind for awhile & then i open the computer & get lost in stories rather than writing.  i've just been more about reading than writing.  or watching.  i was doing really well there for a couple weeks, keeping up w/ my shows (Castle, Undercover Boss, SHIELD, Wonderland...) but then i got caught up in the stories again & so... 

i did manage to watch last week's OUAT & Revenge in time to go to trish's this week - but i only did that so i could fill trish in on what was going on!  *laugh*  

i met my friend kris for dinner monday night & my friend shelley for dinner last night & was supposed to meet trish for dinner tonight, but i sorta made more plans than the budget would allow!  d'oh!  i sorta got used to having unlimited funds for a time there, which was a super big blessing & i'm grateful for it!  but the funds were not actually unlimited, of course, and so now i need to reign back in for a few months!  heh.  it's HARD!  

today was very nice.  mr c & i were rounding the same corner from opposite directions this morning & almost took each other out.  *laugh*  (phrasing... i would LIKE him to take me out, but like, on a date.  LOL)  now, i had JUST been thinking that i hadn't seen him in awhile & i hope he was doing okay & whatnot.  then last night shelley was trying to get me to be more forward w/ him (that's just not me!  ugh!) but i was thinking, "no, really, that ship has sailed.  i thought at one point he might be interested, but now i think i was mistaken.  he's just super polite & friendly even if he's shy.  kinda like me."  and then today *poof* there he is!  

God, what're you doin' to me?!  

and THEN!

so, we have this class that everyone has to take, and they'd scheduled me to take it on Halloween, which of course is not happening because i take Halloween off every year in honor of Daddy.  my bosses said i could talk to the schedulers & get my time changed to friday's class.  so i did, but then they weren't able to send me the meeting notice.  so i checked & noticed that mr c wasn't in the thursday class.

i IM'd him to see if he was in the friday class (he is) and if he would forward me the meeting notice so i could put it on my calendar (he did) and then we just did our normal (seemingly quarterly) IM chat about randomness.  he just makes me smile, and i think i make him smile, but of course not quite the same way, and i wish i did, but if wishes were horses i'd have a stable.  so ... 

shelley has horses.  *laugh*  just thought i'd share.

so!!  it was a SUPER NICE morning, and then i decided to take off at noon.  well, actually, i'd decided i was taking off at noon when i got in this morning.  : )  

reading: Come Away With Me (again)
Fight With Me should be in my mailbox today... : ) 
drinking: coffee
mood: chill


Thursday, October 17, 2013

a day like today

after being sick this week, today was quite a blessing.  i felt more like ME.  started the day w/ an odd combination for breakfast - i opted to laze about in bed for 10 minutes rather than worrying about fixing something, so i just grabbed a couple bites of donut, a piece of sushi that wouldn't quite fit in my container i was packing to bring to work for a snack, a couple pulls of OJ, and of course a cup of coffee.  then i got more coffee from the bux on my way to work, and ate some grapefruit when i got to work.  (a couple ppl found it gross, but it worked for me in a pinch!)

it was a bit of a disjointed day at work.  i accomplished quite a lot, and "met" my new timecard tech guru, who is replacing the gentleman who recently passed away.  we had a nice chat, and i am hopeful that he'll get the hang of things fairly quickly.  he's a good guy, from what i know of him!  i had a couple meetings - one w/ my supervisor & one w/ the co-lead of a new committee i'm on.  i find myself on a lot of enrichment committees lately... i likey!  ;)  it's super fun to be part of making the office lighter, helping employees & management be more engaged, and hopefully supporting favor in the company!  my POV is that if ppl are happy where they work, they will put forth their best effort for their area, which in turn helps the company... ya know?  : )  

got to have happy joe's for lunch w/ a few friends - that place was PACKED today because it was "bring your kid to lunch day" or something like that!  this meant we had to wait a little bit for pizzas when we got there, but also that there were LOTS of yummy pizza choices on the buffet, and FRESH!  i call that a win... 

in book news, i have been reading Judi Fennell's Mer series.  finished book 2, Wild Blue Under & next is the final one, Catch of a Lifetime.  after that will be a re-read of something, but i haven't decided what yet.  i have been wanting to re-read Take Care, Sara, but it seriously is SO emotional, i'm not sure i'm ready yet.  and it deals w/ some things that - this month - i don't think i want to read.  so, it WILL be re-read, because lincoln & sara are calling to me, but i don't think it will be this month.  my most recent amazon order of 7 books should arrive sometime next week, and then i will be devouring those!  *laugh*  i do need to exercise a little patience, as my aunt vickie says, because they're still in 'ordered' status & haven't shipped yet, and i just want them to SHIIIIIP!  :D  heh.  oh, and i went ahead & pre-ordered Remy & Raw, because Remy's price dropped like $2 & it releases right before thanksgiving & ... yeah.  :)  

what else?  so happy tomorrow is friday & i'm ready for the weekend!!  this week has been exhausting, of course!  not feeling well will drain it right outta ya, ya know?  

did you know Pandora has a ballet music station?  LOVE IT!  i'll stick to my shinedown, 5fdp, metallica, nickleback, stone sour, sick puppies, etc. for work, but right now i am sooooo enjoying this classical music!!  

well, i guess that is what i wanted to share about a day like today.  :)  now i'm off to ZZZZ land!  have a blessed evening & FRIDAY!